mmmMatthew...

2005-10-30T20:53:00.000-05:00

I just spent nearly $400.00 on bedding. It's called "oxidized floral-patina mesh" by Calvin Klein. mmmmm...., I like sleep.

2005-10-07T17:58:00.000-05:00

I admit. You hate me. You hate me because...,

I'm a right-wing, pro-Christ, pro-life, pro-guns (Bill of Rights, #2), pro-family republican. And not just because my family is, but because it makes sense.

I like nice things, yes I'm a man who likes brand names and understands the difference between Old Navy and Armani. (No, they're not the same)

I wear Dolce and Gabanna for men, not just the latest blend of over the counter generic body spray with a name like "Metallic Ice."

I spend $30 on hair-cuts from a salon.

And yes..., yes...., worst of all. I care. :)

2005-09-27T22:05:00.000-05:00

Still alive. Working working working. Talk later...

2005-09-02T13:02:00.000-05:00

Given the new job and all I wanted to hurry up my search for the perfect wrist ornament. Obviously, corporate america wouldn't be a big fan of the diesel watches down below so I needed something a bit more..., mmmm..., sophisticated-yet-matthew. I finally picked one...

Mmmm... My new watch.

2005-07-25T16:38:00.000-05:00

I am writing in my blog. Doo Daa Doo Daa

I'm done writing in my blog. Doo Daa Doo Daa

2005-06-04T20:34:00.000-05:00

The many faces of Miss Kate.

The serious_I'm_paying_attention_to_what_you're_saying Kate

The what_the_heck_did_you_just_say Kate

2005-05-27T16:55:00.000-05:00

Jonathan Edwards wrote: "Once, as I rode out into the woods for my health, in 1737, having alighted from my horse in a retired place, as my manner commonly has been, to walk for divine contemplation and prayer, I had a view, that for me was extraordinary, of the glory of the Son of God, as Mediator between God and man, and his wonderful, great, full, pure and sweet grace and love, and meek and gentle condescension. This grace that appeared so calm and sweet, appeared also great above the heavens. The person of Christ appeared ineffably excellent, with an excellency great enough to swallow up all thought and conception -which continued, as near as I can judge, about an hour; which kept me the greater part of the time in a flood of tears, and weeping aloud. I felt an ardency of soul to be, what I know not otherwise how to express, emptied and annihilated; to lie in the dust; and to be full of Christ alone; to love him with a holy and pure love; to trust in him; to live upon him; to serve and follow him; and to be perfectly sanctified and made pure, with a divine and heavenly purity. I have several other times had views very much of the same nature, and which have had the same effects."

I wonder..., how does one give himself over fully to this kind of love Edwards writes about? I felt it once..., I really did. I desire to feel this close to Him but always fall short, left empty. It's a spiritual depression of sorts I battle. I feel like I can't get close enough..., and sometimes the efforts in which I think will bring me closer just seem to hinder this relationship. Here is a question worth serious thought. 15/18 months or so ago..., a time of true spiritual growth..., I felt so completely close to God. I could feel Him..., see Him..., I didn't just know Him, I loved Him and knew He loved me. As time seems to go on..., it's as though this relationship has grown more distant. The closer I grow to the church and ministry the less I feel Jesus with me and in me. I don't say this to sound negative, but it's something I've been contemplating for some time and it saddens me.

2005-05-23T22:03:00.000-05:00

In buying a new watch I can't decide.... You pick....

Watch #1

Watch #2

2005-05-17T20:35:00.000-05:00

Yes it's true... in my switch to Cingular I just couldn't resist the temptation. So far so good..., but I'll keep you posted. Kate opted for the "value" deal with the Samsung E317..., which I had also, for about 2 days before I found myself back in the store switching for the Motorola RAZR.

mmmMMMmmmmmm....skinny phone

2005-05-11T02:36:00.000-05:00

It's 3:30AM and I cannot sleep. Grrrrrr.... What to do what to do..... *sigh*

2005-05-07T00:02:00.000-05:00

...for all you curious jeweler types..., it's a .81 carat, E, VS1 in a Tiffany-Classic style setting w/ white gold...

She said yes down by the water, at the end of the pier in the Old Port. Yes, I respectfully spent nearly an hour and a half in the most anxious conversation of my life, alone, talking to her parents before asking her on one knee. :) Thank *you* God...

2005-05-03T02:44:00.000-05:00

The Reformation Study Bible Headed for Second Printing After Just Eight Weeks

Orlando, Florida, April 25, 2005 - Ligonier Ministries is pleased to announce demand for The Reformation Study Bible (RSB) has been so great that the ministry has ordered a second printing less than two months after the Bible's release. The ministry has almost exhausted its initial print run of 20,000 Bibles, with nearly 1,500 being sold in less than 48 hours during its annual conference in March.

Originally published in the NKJV translation, the new edition of The Reformation Study Bible utilizes the English Standard Version to remain as true to the original languages as possible. "This Bible project encompasses my life's work," stated Dr. R.C. Sproul, Ligonier Ministries founder who served as the RSB's general editor. "To see how Christians have embraced this new study Bible and translation is beyond my expectations."

The Reformation Study Bible is proving to be an essential resource for Christians serious about understanding Scripture and has earned the respect of many distinguished theologians. The RSB is available in both leather bound and hardbound editions and contains theological articles, maps, charts and extensive study notes written by a trusted group of more than 50 scholars, including J. I. Packer, James Boice and Wayne Grudem.

The RSB is published by Ligonier Ministries and produced and distributed by P&R Publishing. "My colleagues and I are extremely pleased with the response to this Bible from the Christian community," stated Allan Fisher, P&R's Director of Publications. "It is encouraging to see that so many people still hunger for the Word of God." This timely second printing will ensure Christians everywhere will receive their copy of The Reformation Study Bible without delay.

About Ligonier Ministries

Ligonier Ministries was founded more than thirty years ago by Dr. R.C. Sproul, and provides Christian educational materials designed to bridge the gap between Sunday school and seminary. The ministry reaches more than 2.5 million people each week in the United States and many more throughout the world through the daily Renewing Your Mind radio broadcast. Ligonier Ministries also produces the award-winning daily Bible study and devotional magazine Tabletalk, as well as educational books, video and audio series, music, and conferences. This international ministry is located near Orlando, Florida.

For more information about the Reformation Study Bible, contact Ligonier Ministries at www.ligonier.org

For more information about the Holy Bible, English Standard Version from Crossway Publishers check out www.esv.org

2005-04-27T20:18:00.000-05:00

I must confess, I am in love with the English Standard Version. We've been partaking in this steamy journey since some time last summer and it's been a wild ride. We've smiled..., we've laughed..., we've cried..., but most importantly..., it's brought me closer to God's Word. I even own the beloved Reformation Study Bible (ESV)..., but it still doesn't have that Crossway charm I love. And now..., glow in the dark.

mmmMMMmm...., Bibles. :-P

TruGlo Edition

2005-04-17T19:18:00.000-05:00

A pic of my beautiful girlfriend. Mmmmm.... Isn't she GREAT!?! She makes me smile. :) (She's complaining about this pic being on the site right now claiming it's bad... But it's not..., she's beautiful.)

2005-04-14T22:40:00.000-05:00

I just felt compelled to write...

God is good...

Thank you Father. Thank you so much for everything I am completely unworthy of... You alone are God and I pray that my tiny thanksgiving in some way honors you as such...

I love you!

2005-04-12T20:00:00.000-05:00

Since I don't write much, I thought I'd share my latest remarks in a recent conversation with a couple leaders and Pastors contemplating a switch to the ESV.

-------------------

Hi All,

The more I sat and thought about this discussion, I found myself compelled to revisit my remarks and share a bit from my experience. I've read all of the above comments and find them interesting and intriguing. I appreciate the passion of the (for lack of a better term) NAS'ers for their commitment to truth. I also enjoy the interest in unity the NIV'ers tend to have. There are two concepts at the forefront here..., accuracy and literacy. I have read the NAS and honestly find it a bit clunky and not something I'd eagerly hand over to average_joe_street_guy for an introduction to Gods Word. (Perhaps I've heard too many people say they just don't understand the Bible when they try to read it?) This is not to say there isn't power in the Word because there clearly is..., but lets face it..., NOT everyone had the luxury of growing up with the Bible or has the same reading level. That's my first thought. Secondly, I find some serious and what one might even call "gross" misunderstanding that seems to grow out of people using the NIV for serious study. I think trading the Greek word "flesh" for "sinful desire" (as the NIV does) is a bigger deal than the average layperson realizes (myself included). The fact is, much of the theology today being taught in local churches is really not true to the text and a very sad portrayal of the Gospel. There is a growing number of Pastors preaching out of paraphrasie "translations" in an attempt to reach out to a generation they honestly don't understand. The more they fail to reach..., the more "cool" they try to become, they're missing the point..., truth is all men and women want. It's what Jesus taught, it's what we should teach, Truth. As the leader of a young adult/postmodern/emerging church (and if you dont know what that means..., count yourself lucky. It's a 18-34 year old mostly thing) in Portland, Maine I find myself combating a lot of interesting topics many pastors of large churches never face.

1>My gathering tends to be very outreach oriented so I find myself amidst people who have never read the Bible before in their life. And for you Bible-belters..., yea, these people do exist. ;)

2>One of the biggest complaints against the church and Bible for that matter is it's inaccuracy and fact it's just not relevant. And I hate to say it..., but with a growing population of young (20-35 year old) men and women who are educated, know where many translations just aren't cuttin' the mustard and it's a joke to many.

3>This gathering isn't replacing Sunday morning church but it's a nice addition on the weekend nights. Therefore it attracts (in each gathering) Methodist, Baptist, Lutheran, Pentecostal, Presbyterian, Non-Denominational and the like so keeping the peace can be difficult. Many with even a novice understanding of Biblical theology won't touch the NIV and those who've never touched a Bible can barely swallow the NAS...

My solution? The ESV. It's beautiful. If enough NAS'ers are willing to see how accurate it really is and support it..., and enough NIV'ers who are passionate about unity and readability would support it, you might well be able to sit in a Bible study again some day and say, "what did you think when you read..." not "ok, what version are you reading out of?" With this being said I'd like to give it one last plea...

Please please please for the sake of my generation (I am 26) and the future of the Church in America understand how truth AND readability are important. I beg of you...

In Him,
Matt

2005-04-11T15:56:00.000-05:00

You are Tater Tots. Go get your own!!

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-03-28T12:33:00.000-05:00

An effort worth supporting...

2005-03-14T19:17:00.000-05:00

Some interesting thoughts I ripped from another site..., enjoy. I leave these notes in love and frustration. ~M

The Most Calvinistic Passage in the Bible

And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. (2 Timothy 2:24-26)

Ugly Calvinism

Why is it that, with all to many of us, the more familiar we are with sound Christian teaching the less Christ-like we become in our daily lives? Why are so many Reformed believers, in particular, so lacking in love, kindness, patience, gentleness, meekness--the fruit of the Spirit's fruit within us? Why so cold--abstracting truth from the real world of people with needs? Is there a danger in pursuing theology--especially, in our times, Reformed Theology? -Rob Schlaepfer

The "Cage Stage"

A lot of new and ignorant Calvinists need to...well, shut up. I know that isn't the politest phrase in the book, but it is the truth. Most of the damage done in these matters is done by people who are in what Calvinists call the "cage phase," those inaugural few months when you know very little except some version of TULIP and you won't be quiet about that. These are people who need to get a very large stack of books and get some roots going, but instead they go and pick a fight with whomever is least likely to understand what they are talking about. These converts- often impressionable students or very unread laity- can be obnoxious, immature, and thoughtless in their assaults. They've done a lot of damage and there is no apologizing for them. I would say they should be recognized for what they are- untaught, ignorant, and often, young. Most them will grow out of it. A few remain that way until their next phase. -Michael Spencer

Within the Reformed world, a phrase which more of us should be aware of is 'cage stage.' Whenever someone comes into new-found truth (and this often happens with those first coming to embrace Reformed theology), the phrase refers to that period of time where the new (and usually young) convert should be locked up in a cage. That period of time is usually about two years. Of course, there are some pitiful cases that should never be let out, and there are many more evangellyfish who do not ever need to be locked up. But cage stagers, however many of them there are, can do a lot of damage. Ironically, they do much to make the theology they profess to love obnoxious to outsiders. Paul did teach, unambiguously, the doctrine of election. But he also told the Colossians, as the elect of God, to put on tender mercies. -Douglas Wilson, "Hither and Yon"

John Newton's Calvinistic Tenderness

As to your opponent, I wish, that, before you set pen to paper against him, and during the whole time you are preparing your answer, you may commend him by earnest prayer to the Lord's teaching and blessing. This practice will have a direct tendency to conciliate your heart to love and pity him; and such a disposition will have a good influence upon every page you write. . . . [If he is a believer,] in a little while you will meet in heaven; he will then be dearer to you than the nearest friend you have upon earth is to you now. Anticipate that period in your thoughts. . . . [If he is an unconverted person,] he is a more proper object of your compassion than your anger. Alas! "He knows not what he does." But you know who has made you to differ. -John Newton, The Works of the Rev. John Newton, Vol. 1, p. 269

John Wesley's Plea to Calvinists

Are you persuaded that you see more clearly than me? It is not unlikely that you may. Then treat me as you would desire to be treated yourself upon a change of circumstances. Point out to me a better way than I have yet known. Show me it is so, by plain proof of Scripture. And if I linger in the path I have accustomed to tread, and am therefore unwilling to leave it, labour with me a little; take me by the hand, and lead me as I am able to bear. - John Wesley

2005-02-03T22:33:00.000-05:00

Although I'm not writing..., my brain is thinking... hmmmm....

2005-01-23T20:03:00.000-05:00

I've had these thoughts recently. My life may seem as though it's going no where but my mind is always traveling light-years ahead of my heart. I find all these thoughts of greatness..., thoughts of success..., thoughts of both pride and humility. I am always amazed by the biographies of great leaders. Some commanded great armies, some insurmountable character, others just armed with ideas to move and shake the minds and hearts of their world. I question their intentions and motives. I find myself attempting to delve into the deepest waters of their souls looking for an answer. As creations made in the image of God we are all granted certain gifts. Many men have used these gifts to do great things, some shameful things. All this searching and thinking always leads me back to the same place. Me, here alone in my room with books, daydreams, prayers, hopes and ideas. I often wonder if I will ever be one of those men remembered for his emotional convictions and action. Do I inspire others? Am I someone who seeks to glorify God in everything I do? While these questions and many others remain unanswered I am convinced without a doubt that this greatness will only be uncovered through a complete submission to the One who gave me life. I pray, I try, I hope..., always falling short and left here with nothing more than a few ideas and how-to's. I know many men who seek to do great things for God and I am always reminded of the words of the passionate D.L. Moody, "There are many men willing to do great things for God, but not many willing to do the little things." I suppose that is what made D.L.'s passion so real and so glorifying. He understood it. After hearing the great C.H. Spurgeon speak a woman pulled him aside to inform him how wonderful his oratory skills were and how she had never heard such a message before, Charles..., with a kind smile nodded to the woman, thanked her and informed her that she was a few minutes late. He explained, "the devil had already dropped by to tell him how wonderful he was." These men, and many others understood it.

This world..., this life..., is a battlefield. A battlefield for glory and souls. Many men walk across the field with the heart of a king, but lacking his sword.

How is it that some have managed to take their heart and their sword and wield such power for Him, while others will never be heard nor felt?

2005-01-21T02:19:00.000-05:00

The means of election is always through human agency. That is, God uses other believers to communicate the gospel to the lost. (Romans 10:14-17) Therefore, we cannot excuse ourselves from sharing the gospel by saying, "If he's elect, God's going to save him anyway. He doesn't need me to do the job." It's true that God doesn't need any of us to do his will, but it is equally true that God uses those who are willing to obey him. Consequently, the doctrine of election should motivate us to share the gospel--not out of fear but because we want to be used by God to do his will.

"I'm so glad that God chose me before the foundation of the world, because he never would have chosen me after I was born!" Charles Haddon Spurgeon

2005-01-18T19:06:00.000-05:00

This is very cool!!!

You scored as Classical Apologist.

You are a classical apologist! Marshaling arguments first based on competing worldviews, you can show reasons to believe in the Christian faith. You have learned much from C. S. Lewis, Norman Geisler, and Peter Kreeft.

Classical Apologist 77%
Evidentialist 67%
Reformed/Presuppositional Apologist 40%
Fideist 40%
Atheist 3%

What kind of apologist are you? http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=738

2005-01-17T21:58:00.000-05:00

"There is a sad irony to the seeming successes of many Christian churches and schools. And the irony is this: the more you adjust or obscure biblical doctrine in order to make Christian reality acceptable to unbelievers, the less Christian reality there is when they arrive... If you alter or obscure the biblical portrait of God in order to attract converts, you do not get converts to God, you get converts to an illusion. That is not evangelism; that is deception." -- John Piper

2005-01-17T02:15:00.000-05:00

My response to a good friends thought about the quest for Biblical balance and truth. (Her comments are available in the link below.)
***************************************************************************

Interesting thoughts. Well put. I agree on most of what you said.

I would perhaps disagree on one item though, doctrine being the *most* important thing. I am just not convinced Jesus' mission was "doctrinal", but rather a mission and purpose of love. I think one of the best ways to love God..., truly love Him..., is to impart His love into the lives of others. I agree and see the need for doctrine but also see a surge of postmodern pharisees and it both concerns and saddens me. Attempting to over-intellectualize the Word to the point they're incapable of knowing God at all because he has become nothing more than an agenda of black and white words..., ok perhaps the occasional red words to some if you own one of "those versions."

The quest should always be for truth..., but truth within the context of balance. Is there an "elect?" Yes, I am convinced so. But one should never..., ever..., forget the words of our Master.

"And He said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (ESV Matt 22:37-39)

The concept is simple..., yet so many seem to forget the second. While it is true, that God's righteous justice will be served, one's heart should always find itself loving others as you love yourself. If my heart does not ache, truly ache for those who will suffer a Christless eternity then I am simply not loving them as I love myself. I want to be with God because I love God..., I love everything about Him..., but also..., if I am being honest..., because I love myself.

The mark of the Christian has always and should always be that of love.
Just my thoughts.

http://disciplingtruth.blogspot.com/2005/01/on-worship-part-1.html

2005-01-02T01:04:00.000-05:00

I found this recently and felt it to be piercing. I am always intrigued by the fact the obvious seems to be the most insightful. Perhaps, it's the mediocre-man-within just longing to cuddle up to simplicity. Hmmm... In any case... Enjoy.

Henri Nouwen does a masterful job describing true authority in a short piece article entitled, "The Authority of Compassion." This is worth a read:

"Mostly we think of people with great authority as higher up, far away, hard to reach. But spiritual authority comes from compassion and emerges from deep inner solidarity with those who are "subject" to authority. The one who is fully like us, who deeply understands our joys and pains or hopes and desires, and who is willing and able to walk with us, that is the one to whom we gladly give authority and whose "subjects" we are willing to be.

It is the compassionate authority that empowers, encourages, calls forth hidden gifts, and enables great things to happen. True spiritual authorities are located in the point of an upside-down triangle, supporting and holding into the light everyone they offer their leadership to."

2004-08-12T03:01:00.000-05:00

4:00am deep thoughts....

Often times, people think that morality is the standard in which you approach those around you. The ol' "it's not hurting anyone, so it's okay" philosophy. While this is true, Christian morality, the morality I want others to see and feel is that and more. It's also the standard in which you approach and care for what's within yourself. The problem is that sometimes it takes years for people to realize their choices are doing harm, harm to themselves.

Often times I wonder why it took me so long when it was right in front of me... Hmmmm....

2004-06-09T11:00:00.000-05:00

As for Steve's words about California..., I'm just so unclear. It could be a couple different things. I've just been spending a lot of time in prayer asking the Lord to make it even more clear. I'm trying to get more specific with my prayers too.

And the other guy..., "Patrick." Yes well, the guy was crazy there is no denying that but I can't help but think there was something else going on in his body. There were a couple reasons..., the big one of which was some of the junk flying out of his mouth and as odd as it sounds the look in his eye was just weeeiiirrrrd. I'm writing the things down he said and have been analyzing and researching them. There were soo many bizarre references that were actually based on the Bible. This dude knew his Bible inside and out. He knew names..., people..., stories..., and he was obsessed with Cain and Able and said he knew them very well. He said he tried to rebuild Heaven himself but someone wouldn't let him..., blah blah. He said he knew Jehovah and he wasn't all everyone thought him to be. Most of which sounds crazy, I realize..., BUT.., I can't deny what I felt or saw when I was talking to him. And the biggest thing he said to me that I keep thinking about was our last conversation. I walked him back to his house and he said..., "why aren't you just going to live for yourself? Your own will?" (Which as you know has been a big prayer of mine.) I explained my hope and intent to live for God and my reasons why. He responded..., "stop trying to find the light matt..., it doesn't exist." Through our entire 3 hours together he had mentioned to give me some very persuasive arguements..., even for a "crazy guy." And it was like when one thing wouldnt work he'd try something else. Then when I would ask him why he just said that he'd look at me like he didn't know why or what he just said. Plus, if you remember I told you he kept blabbing about "Pan." And sometimes when I would begin to tell him things the Bible says, he would say "Yes yes..., I know Peter says that too." So I was thinking he meant "Peter Pan" and he was just totally nuts. So I told him I thought he was nuts and Peter Pan was just a story. And he kept saying..., Pan is the missing link I'm looking for then he would stare at me. And he said something..., or asked me something which at the time led me to believe he was nuts.... At one point he asked or explained that I had just met Pan and then laughed. Nuts, right? The guy thought he was Peter Pan... And he just kept saying that I knew Pan and I had met Pan. (Did you know this? Pan stuff?)

Last night I did some research on his some of his references and this is *some* of what I found. I'll cut n' paste the jist of it below and give you the link. Weird stuff....
__________

http://www.forerunner.com/champion/X0044_Witchcraft_and_Satan.html

Most modern witches deny that they are followers of Satan and claim that their pagan concept of diverse gods does not match the Christian concept of the devil. Although Wiccans deny their association with the devil, they readily admit that they worship "a Horned God named Pan." It is an inescapable fact that Pan is the universal symbol for Satan. Half-human and half-goat, Pan remains one of the most enduring and compelling symbols for the anti-Christ. Instead of God incarnate in man, as with Jesus, we see man joined to animal - one that is historically representative of the basest of animal and sexual passions.

The ancient cult of Pan involved rites of passage. In the Rites of Pan, music and sometimes drugs were used to entice spirits to possess the ritual's participants. Possession by Pan, from which we get the word "panic," often results in an obsession with sex and a need for immediate gratification. We see the sociological manifestations of this anti-Christ spirit everywhere in today's society.

2004-06-03T11:01:00.000-05:00

Per Kelly Stewart of the University of Virginia.. She's mostly correct except her bit about baptism being when the believer is reborn. Many Christians within these organizations will tell you that the Believer is reborn at the time of conversion and that Baptism is part of salvation but that salvation comes through grace and grace alone. (Eph 2:8-9)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Introduction
The Restoration Movement began in the early 19th Century when a conglomeration of members from different Christian groups and denominations decided that they had gotten away from the basics of Christianity. (Jorgenson, 1989: 11) Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians, and others abandoned their formal denomination with hopes of establishing a church based soley on the primitive Christianity taught in the New Testament. With their beliefs in Jesus as the only model and the Bible as the only sacred book, they endeavored to reestablish Christ's church as it had been during Jesus' time. Because the different organized denominations had constructed rules and practices that did not come explicitly from the Bible, those with new ideas felt the divisions must be dissolved. Their goal was for everyone to abandon their dividing religions and become united as one church under God's rule alone. (Tyler, 1894: 25-30)

Although not all abandoned their organized faiths, some did choose to follow this primitive way. Among the most influential leaders of this movement are Alexander Campbell and Barton W. Stone . (Hughes, 1996: 92) With similar views focused around unity and primitivism, each gathered a group of followers, and in 1832 the two groups merged. (Tyler, 1894: 72-73)

Although the fundamental views remained, in 1906 this group split. The followers of Campbell and Stone divided into two sects, called the Church of Christ (Non-Instrumental) and the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). Over time many additional schisms have formed from these core groups as well. A second major division occurred in 1968 with the Christian Church separating the more liberal Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) from the more conservative Christian Church/Churches of Christ. The beliefs of each sect, based on the teachings of Jesus Christ in the New Testament, remain centered around Jesus as the Messiah and son of God, baptism of immersion to believers, and the Lord's Supper as a memorial meal.(Melton, 1996: 477)

Christians of this movement believe that Jesus is both God and God's son. They believe that he manifested himself as flesh on earth and lived a perfect life in order to provide humans with an example of how they ought to live. He was perfect although not free from temptation during his time on earth and gave his life in order to pay for the world's sins. This was God's plan of salvation for every man because man does not have to the capability to be without sin. In order to receive this salvation, one must admit his or her sinfulness and need for forgiveness, then repent and accept Jesus as Lord of his or her life. One must then be baptized by full body immersion for the remission of sins. At this point, it is believed that one begins a new life, and is "reborn." The new Christian is expected to live a life for God based on the teachings of the Bible. The idea of baptism by immersion is taken from the New Testament where in several places, the command to be baptized is given to believers. Jesus himself is baptized by the prophet, appropriately called John the Baptist.

Another practice that is important to this sectarian movement is the weekly rememberance of Jesus' sacrifice by partaking in a meal called communion, or the Lord's Supper. This consists of bread (in different forms) to represent Jesus' body and grape juice (because many do not believe in drinking wine or any alcohol) to represent the blood that he shed when he was crucified on a cross. This is often shared together during a weekly time of worship, prayer, teaching by a minister, and fellowship. The elders, a select group of male leaders within the church, thank God for the sacrifice of His son before passing around the bread and juice for everyone to take.

Overall, the people of this movement have no extra practices or rituals unique to them outside the New Testament teaching. The three major divisions overlap in their beliefs. There is no head organization for the Christian Churches or Church of Christ; whereas the Disciples of Christ have a centralized organization called the Convention. The Church of Christ is non-instrumental, but the Christian Churches and Disciples of Christ use musical instruments. Ultimately, each strives to be as similar to the early church as possible modeling their lives after their one true example, Jesus Christ.

2004-05-28T11:31:00.000-05:00

On another note, I lost my job this morning. I have only been with this company for 2 months and things were going okay, but not super. In the last two months I have really been unable to focus on anything else in life outside of my relationship with the Lord. It sounds odd I know..., which is why I decided to go back to school. I've been praying that God just smack me in the face with what he wants for my life and that I have courage and strength to overcome. Well needless to say in the last 24 hours my boss kept insisting something must be up because my work..., my sales..., were no longer my passion in life and it was obvious. He asked what was going on..., where my head and heart were, etc etc. I suppose I could have been more upfront with him about all the changes but figured it didn't matter, because he only knows the Matt-in-Christ. (Meaning I was saved before I started working for him) I don't ever really get preachy at work and have actually never mentioned much about my faith to him or the president. To make a long story short, I've been praying that the Lord just make his paith for me so clear I can't see anything else and this morning my boss decided he didn't think it was in my best interest. Although I should be really disturbed and stressed (which I am), I'm not *that* stressed. I had envisioned the day when I was going to walk in the presidents office and hand in my resignation and explain that I had a calling from God to do something else. Telling him that it might sound crazy, etc etc..., but that it's where I needed to be. Today, after we were done chatting he said something to me and it just sounds so weird. He said as he kinda looked away timidly, "I know this sounds totally crazy..., but have you ever thought about working as a Pastor or something?" I began to ask why he said this to me and he explained that he just kind of had a feeling about it for some reason. He "thought of me as a regular guy" but that there was something different about the whole thing. Then after these thoughts, one day someone is the office asked a question about the Bible or something and I guess I casually answered it in passing and he said he felt like he saw a burning passion inside me. He started talking about the way I talk to people, my command and use of the english language (yes, haha.., he actually said that), presentation skills etc. I realize this all sounds odd for me to explain but I'm still sitting here in awe trying to figure out what it all means. This is coming from a guy who knows very little about my spirituality and quite honestly doesn't seem to be very spiritual himself. He grew up Catholic and never goes to Church. It's just weird... I then told him of my decision to go to school at night and such and he seemed really happy by his decision and smiled. (Yes.., I am still stressed and sad) I don't know what it means... My flesh tells me to worry and panic and freak out... But something inside me is telling me to be calm and let Him work in my life. Any thoughts? I know I know... It all sounds really odd..., but seriously. It's all seeming very odd to me right now. It's times like these where I just want to convince myself maybe I am crazy and I'm just wanting to see all these things..., but they seem to real. Hmmm... Just keep me in prayer that He will always walk before me and that I have the courage to follow.

:o\

2004-05-02T22:20:00.000-05:00

Comfort....,

John 15

The Vine and the Branches

1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[1] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17This is my command: Love each other.

The World Hates the Disciples

18"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.'[2] If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me. 22If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. 23He who hates me hates my Father as well. 24If I had not done among them what no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: 'They hated me without reason.'[3]
26"When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. 27And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.

2004-04-23T07:31:00.000-05:00

Its friday. I feel like a zombi sitting here at my desk. I'm not getting enough sleep. Eeeeeck. Up late on the phone...., yapping my gob. *sigh* Normally, I'd just look forward to the quality sleeping in that's about to start tonight..., BUT I have to be in Mass early Saturday not to return until Monday. Hmmmm... Lets just say a prayer that I get through today with little frustration given that I feel so stressed and defeated.

I don't really have anything more interesting to say. Hmmmm... I just sneezed. I was late to work (8:20 whereas a good Sales Executive arrives at 8:00AM)

Ok, the boss is here (we share an office).. Hasta Luego.

2004-04-17T12:09:00.000-05:00

So my little sister (she's 22) is getting baptized tomorrow. Hmmm... I can't stop smiling. Tears..., tears of joy.

In awe of Him.... Thank you....

2004-04-15T21:03:00.000-05:00

My new shoes... Ross has been a fan of Clarks-England for years so I finally decided to see what all the rage is about... Clarks Senators..., mmmm...

2004-04-13T21:14:00.000-05:00

Ever wonder where the beloved Catholic church gets their idea of the "pope" or "papacy?" Yea, me too. How can "the church" be so right with so many things but so wrong with so many others. Kinda makes you wonder. If Jesus said he left us with the "Holy Spirit" as the guide..., and if as Christians we recognize this as the true leader... WHY..., or who's half-cocked idea was this anyway?

Enjoy.....

WAS PETER EVER POPE?

By

Rev. George R. MacFaul

THE Roman Catholic Church claims that Christ gave to Peter supremacy over the other apostles; that the authority given to Peter passed to his successors; that the sole inheritors of Peter are the Bishops of Rome. She affirms Peter founded the Church of Rome and was its Bishop for twenty-five years. Butler's Catholic catechism, pages 15 and 16, contains the following: 'Who is the visible head of the Church?' 'The Pope, who is Christ's vicar on earth and supreme and visible head of the Church.' 'To whom does the Pope succeed as visible head of the Church?' 'To St. Peter, who was the chief of the apostles, Christ's vicar on earth, the first Pope and Bishop of Rome.'

Was Peter ever Bishop of Rome? This question is most important to the Roman-Catholic Church, for with it either stands or falls the whole papal system. If Peter was not Pope at Rorne then the Popes were never his successors.

A brief study of the New Testament will at once furnish to any candid-minded person convincing proof that Peter was never Pope. It will readily be seen that ...

CHRIST REFUSED TO RECOGNISE ANY POPE AMONG HIS DISCIPLES

The Saviour never introduced Peter to the other disciples by saying: 'See, I have appointed Peter as My successor; receive him as your Pope and head of the Church, call him Holy Father, honour and obey him.' On the contrary, Jesus made the following positive declaration, which is diametrically opposed to Roman teaching: 'But be ye not called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren. And call no man your father upon the earth for one is your Father, which is in heaven. Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, even Christ. But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whosoever shalt exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.' Matthew 23:8-12.

THE APOSTLES NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED PETER AS POPE

Paul is silent about Peter's primacy. He wrote some thirteen or fourteen epistles, and never once refers to Peter's authority over the others. If such authority had existed would he not have spoken of it?

Paul considers himself Peter's equal. He says: 'I was not a whit behind the very chiefest apostles.' 2 Corinthians 11:5. If Peter had been Pope would he have dared to speak after this fashion?

Paul censured Peter openly. He says: 'When Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed.' See Galatians 2:11-16. How would Paul have dared to censure Peter openly for failure to practice what he preached in his action toward the Gentiles, if Peter had been Pope?

Peter was considered only as one of the pillars of the Church. See Galatians 2:8-10. He was like James and John, one of the pillars of the Church, not its head.

No writer of the New Testament speaks of Peter as Pope. What does their silence mean? Can it be a conspiracy against him? Why do they ignore his authority? Why? Because Peter never was Pope. All the apostles were brethren.

PETER NEVER SPOKE OR ACTED AS POPE

The only time that Peter acted at all like a Pope was when he used the sword and cut off the ear of Malchus. John 18:10. Popes have often made much use of arms; when at Antioch he did not walk according to the truth. Galatians 2.14. - Popes have done the same thing for centuries; when he contradicted and opposed the teachings of Christ. Matthew 16:21-23 - In this respect all the Popes have excelled. This was all the popery Peter had in him. It was enough, but Christ delivered him from the power of the evil one.

Peter was sent to preach by others. 'Now when the apostles which were at Jerusalem heard that Samaria had received the Word of God, they sent unto them Peter and John.' Acts 8: A 4. This does not seem Popelike. In place of sending others to preach, Peter is sent out himself.

Peter did not preside at the Council in Jerusalem. He did not call the Council nor open its deliberations. James took the direction of the gathering. If Peter had been Pope why did he not show his authority? See Acts 15.

Peter refused to have Cornelius kneel before him. 'As Peter was coming in, Cornelius met him and fell down at his feet, and worshipped him. But Peter took him up, saying, Stand up: I myself also am a man.' Acts 10:25-26. How different from the Popes, who compel men to kneel before them!

Peter did not profess to have power to forgive sins, but the Popes pretend they have power to forgive sins. Peter told Simon to pray to God for pardon. 'Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart rnay be forgiven thee.' Acts 8:22.

Peter speaks of himself simply as an elder or pastor. 'Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to the strangers scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia.' I Peter 1: l.'The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed: feed the flock of God that is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being examples to the flock.' I Peter 5: 1-3.

Peter is completely silent about his position as Pope. He preached the Gospel on the day of Pentecost and exhorted the people to repent of their sins, to believe in Jesus and be baptised, but he was silent about his great power and high position. Was he too modest, or did he not know that he had been elected Pope? He wrote two epistles, but never mentioned his office of Pope. Who of the Roman Popes acted like Peter?

Peter never celebrated mass, nor did he hear confessions; he never directed a soul to pray to Mary nor to the saints, nor to use beads; he never advocated the use of holy water, and scapulars, and old bones; he never ordered the people to abstain from meat on Fridays and during Lent; he never declared that priests and nuns should not marry; he never presented his foot to be kissed; he never lived in a palace with soldiers to guard him and hundreds of servants to supply his every want. Why did he not do these things? Because he never was Pope.

PETER WAS A MARRIED MAN

In the 'Question Box' of the Catholic Register of Toronto, Canada, appeared the following 'I hear it said that St. Peter was a married man. Is it so?'

'Yes, St. Peter was a married man, but was among those who left all to follow the Lord and preach the Gospel. The law that priests shall not be married is not a divine law, but what we call ecclesiastical, and the Church made it because an unmarried clergy is doubly efficient for many reasons ... And the constant experience of all Christian times shows that the experiment, if so it may be called, has been a signal success ...

We are glad to learn the editor of the Catholic Register acknowledges that Peter was a married man, and the law that priests shall not marry is not divine.

That this so-called law has rendered the clergy of the Church of Rorne more efficient we are not prepared to grant, and that the experiment, for we deem it an experiment, has been a success, we also deny. We would urge all priests to read carefully the words of Paul concerning the office of a bishop: 'A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife ... one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; for if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?' I Timothy 3:1-7.

We would call the attention of all Roman Catholics to the fact that the law that priests should not marry is not only not a divine law, but it is a diabolical one. Paul speaks of it as 'A doctrine. of devils.' 'Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils, speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God bath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.' I Tirnothy 4:1-3.

Generally Roman Catholics believe that the apostles were celibates like the priests of today. But Rorne, to save her cause, will answer that when Peter became priest, or Pope, he left his wife. In the Question Department of the Catholic Observer appeared the following: 'St. Peter was married before he became an apostle, but ceased to live with his wife when he was elevated to the office and dignity of the Christian priesthood.'

The Menace very aptly answered this slander against Peter by saying: 'If St. Peter ceased to live with his wife one of them must have left the other If it were the wife who left St. Peter he must have been a poor foundation for a Church. If, on the other hand, St. Peter did the leaving then he was a wife deserter. The Roman Catholic Church, then, was founded by and upon a wife deserter.'

We know that this statement that Peter left his wife is a falsehood. Paul makes it plain that after Peter became an apostle he still had his wife. He says: 'Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord and Cephas?' I Corinthians 9:5.

The Word says: 'A bishop rnust be blameless, the husband of one wife.' Why did Pope Gregory VII say: 'Leave your wives! Forsake your children! Abandon your home! My clergy shall not rnarry!'? Why? Because he was not the successor of Peter.

THERE 1S NO SCRIPTURAL PROOF THAT PETER WAS EVER IN ROME

The Roman Catholic Church teaches that Peter was the first Pope, reigning at Rome twenty-five years. We challenge her to bring a single Scriptural proof in support of her assertion. If Peter did visit Rome, the New Testament is completely silent about that visit. The Word of God speaks of Peter as the apostle of the Jews. See Galatians 2:7-8. In reading the Acts of the Apostles, written by the Apostle Luke, we see Peter at work in Jerusalem, Caesarea and Antioch. If he had been in Rome for twenty-five years as Pope, why did not Luke mention this fact? NO historian would overlook mentioning the most important event in a man's life.

In the year 58 Paul wrote a letter to the Romans. In this letter he mentions more than twenty persons, but he does not say a word about Peter; he sends no greetings to Pope Peter. If Peter had been there he would undoubtedly have mentioned it. In 61 Paul goes to Rome and visits all the brethren. He did not meet Peter there; if he had been there he surely would have seen him. In 62 and 63 Paul wrote to the Philippians, to the Colossians, to the Ephesians, and to Philemon, from Rome. He speaks of several of his fellow labourers, but he is silent about Peter. In 66, a short time before his death as a martyr, Paul writes to Timothy from Rome and relates to him how all had forsaken him except Luke. Does any one believe that if Peter had been there he, too, would have neglected Paul? Never! Between 41 and 66, when it was said Peter was in Rome we cannot find a passage anywhere in the whole New Testament mentioning that fact. Why? Simply because Peter never was Pope.

CHRIST'S VICAR ON EARTH 1S THE HOLY SPIRIT

Before leaving the earth Jesus made this promise: 'I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.' Matthew 28:20. How is He with us? By the Holy Spirit, and not by a visible head, called the Pope. Jesus said: 'It is expedient for you that I go away, for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send Him unto you. And when He is come, He will reprove the world of sin... Howbeit when He, the Spirit of truth is come, He will guide you into all truth.' John 16:7-13.

This promise was fulfilled on the day of Pentecost. Since then the same gift of God has been bestowed upon all actual Christians. Today we need no Pope to guide us. God's Word is our authority. Every one whom Jesus saves has the promise of the guidance of the Holy Spirit to illuminate his pathway.

Was Peter ever Pope of Rome? NO! Therefore NO POPE COULD EVER BE HIS SUCCESSOR. Consequently the whole papal fabric falls to pieces. Why? Because it is founded upon a lie.

2004-04-10T01:20:00.000-05:00

1. contentment -- (happiness with one's situation in life)

2004-04-04T20:12:00.000-05:00

Dear Heavenly Father,

I stand before you now a man with nothing more to offer than tears and the truth.

Father I have lived on this earth now for 25 years and have been blessed by crossing paths with some of your most beautiful children. My entire life I have known your presence and heard your voice but chose to turn away. When you spoke, I covered my ears. When your work appeared in front of me, I closed my eyes. Father, through all you have offered nothing less than undying love and support. These days, I find myself feeling parts inside of me that I didn't know exist and I know it's your voice talking to me. Sometimes, I even wonder how you could love me as much as you do with what little I've offered you in return. I wonder how I could ever possibly repay you for rescuing me even though I've asked you to leave. You've held me when I asked that it be over. Thank you so much for carrying me when I couldn't walk any further.

What can a man who's lived a life riddled with sin offer in return? I lay before you, praying..., asking..., just searching for sufficient ransom for the sacrifice.

Father, I have what is yours and I'm ready to give it back to you. It's all around me..., it's in me..., it comes out of me..., it is me. Father, I lay my life before you and ask that you use me for your work. I ask you bless me to be a beacon of your light so that I may shine upon others and they may see your presence as I carry my cross.

Father, thank you..., thank you so much.

In the name of your son, my savior Jesus Christ...

Amen

2004-03-22T17:53:00.000-05:00

Yes...Yes....

I am working again. No worries. Hmmm.... If you're wondering where I've been lately here is your answer.

www.eastpointecc.com

2004-02-24T10:39:00.000-05:00

Yea..., so it's my birthday.

2004-02-17T13:46:00.000-05:00

My tax dollars hard at work.. Cool..., but weird...

2004-02-05T16:35:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting online and I notice a banner at the top that says "What are you doing right now?" I figure...., heh...., nothing so I click it. Big surprise..., it's ol' Uncle Sam trying to sign my ass. I select the "jobs" selection and search for the term "kill people." Is it just ironic that the first post is the position of recruiter? Hmmmm..., I think not.

See for yourself....

Army Job Listings

2004-02-04T13:34:00.000-05:00

- 10 Facts about Matthew -

1. I am completely paranoid that I am going to lose my hair someday. So paranoid in fact, that I will only use the mucho-pricey shampoo (Nioxin) from the salon that promises to slow the process and remove that nasty DHT from my purdy scalp.

2. His name is Julio.

3. I have bad luck. Not just kinda bad..., but getting-run-over by a taxi cab bad.

4. I probably spend more time getting ready to go out than most of my female friends. Yea..., it's terrible but true. Ahhh..., the life of a metrosexual. But hey..., that's the joy of this blog. It's a *secret*.

5. I live with two kittens, Atticus and Athena.

6. I love orange juice. So much in fact, that I now have to chew Gaviscon on a daily basis because of my stomach acid. Not to worry..., I've taken a break from the OJ.

7. Is my favorite number. I say favorite..., not lucky..., because one wouldn't want to confused the issue.

8. I have "been" with more women than I'd like to admit but less than one might think.

9. I am chronically late. Everything..., and I mean EVERYTHING. I have to be in the office at 8:15AM. This morning, I came strolling in at 11:00.

10. I have a DVD player but don't own a single DVD. Not one.... And I have yet to actually EVER rent a DVD. Hmmm...

2004-01-26T14:42:00.000-05:00

> To realize
> The value of a sister
> Ask someone
> Who doesn't have one.
>
> To realize
> The value of ten years:
> Ask a newly
> Divorced couple.
>
> To realize
> The value of four years:
> Ask a graduate.
>
> To realize
> The value of one year:
> Ask a student who
> Has failed a final exam.
>
> To realize
> The value of nine months:
> Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
>
> To realize
> The value of one month:
> Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
>
> To realize
> The value of one week:
> Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
>
> To realize
> The value of one hour:
> Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.
>
> To realize
> The value of one minute:
> Ask a person
> Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
>
> To realize
> The value of one-second:
> Ask a person
> Who has survived an accident.
>
> To realize
> The value of one millisecond:
> Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
>
> To realize the value of a friend:
> Lose one.
>
> Time waits For no one.
> Treasure every moment you have.
> You will treasure it even more when
> you can share it with someone special.
>
> The origin of this letter is unknown,
> But it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.
>
> Do not keep this letter.

2004-01-09T09:59:00.000-05:00

Ya know, it's funny how suddenly things seem to change so quickly in such a short period of time for no apparent reason. I have been on this earth for nearly 25 years now and still now have never experienced complete stability. How could something so simple seem so difficult to grasp for some..., mainly me. I've often described myself as someone who lives with his head in the clouds..., is that why? Living too much with your heart and not looking at the facts. Bad habbit or hopeless romantic? You decide. I want to make a meaningful entry right now, but I just can't find the energy inside. My head is too scrambled to think straight. My heart is lost..., just lost. Here I wait... Sit..., and wait. *sigh*

Am I a fool? Perhaps, but nothing is ever gained without risk. And sometimes great risk. Right? As Mike says, (yes I know it is already mentioned in a previous post, but it seems fitting).

"I would rather be an old and miserable man alone and tired and sad, than a divorcee. I do not ever want to take my love for a person away from them - to me it is an eternal gift. I do not hope I have the resolve to love one person for the rest of my life, because I know and believe I have it. It's in me.

I do hope I can find the person who sees in me a good and worthwhile person. I hope I can find a person who can love me for me, for all the right reasons, not just because I am there and convienent and easy.

I want my love to be inconvienent and hard and I want to have to work for it so that I am reminded every single day of the worth of that love.

I do not want my love to be cheap." ~mb

2004-01-06T11:03:00.000-05:00

I haven't written in awhile..., always stating the obvious... Heh. New years was amazing. At first glance, I can honestly say I am more encouraged by 04' than I think I ever have been before. I thought about listing all the reasons why I've been so happy, but recent experiences have led me to believe that simply putting stuff on this site only leads to bad luck. Hmmm... What to do, what to do....

One word.

Beautiful.

2003-12-29T18:21:00.000-05:00

"I have never been entirely sure what it is women like about me, but I know that ardor helps (even I know how difficult it is to resist someone who finds you irresistible), and I was certainly ardent: I didnt make a nuisance of myself, not until the end, anyway, and I never outstayed my welcome, not while there was a welcome to be outstayed; but I was kind and sincere and thoughtful and devoted and I remembered things about her and I told her she was beautiful and bought her little presents that usually referred to a conversation we had had recently. None of this was an effort, of course, and none of it was done with any sense of calculation: I found it easy to remember things about her, because I didnt think about anything else, and I really did think she was beautiful, and I would not have been able to prevent myself from buying her little presents and I did not have to feign devotion. There was no effort involved. So whena girl said wistfully that she wished she could find someone like me, I was surprised and thrilled. Thrilled because it didnt do me any harm, but surprised because all I had done was act out of self-interest. And yet this was enough, it seemed, to turn me into someone desirable. Weird."

2003-12-29T13:30:00.000-05:00

The new glasses...by Riedel. mmmmmMM...

2003-12-23T12:54:00.000-05:00

Ya know, I've often sat around looking at all those close to me in my life and wondered. How in the hell have I managed to keep such awesome people near me for so long. My sister, the rock of my upbringing... possessing all the foundation I assumed was void from my beloved gene pool. My best friend Mike; the icon of stability and strength with an intellect that baffles most and a charisma that leaves you smiling just because... Both of whom seem to have absolutely nothing in common with me stay so close. Not the wish-washy, unstable, head-in-the-clouds emotion I walk each step with..., or so I thought.

Mikes recent blog post would suggest a certain amount of ignorance in my previous statement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the words of Mike..

"I would rather be an old and miserable man alone and tired and sad, than a divorcee. I do not ever want to take my love for a person away from them - to me it is an eternal gift. I do not hope I have the resolve to love one person for the rest of my life, because I know and believe I have it. It's in me.

I do hope I can find the person who sees in me a good and worthwhile person. I hope I can find a person who can love me for me, for all the right reasons, not just because I am there and convienent and easy.

I want my love to be inconvienent and hard and I want to have to work for it so that I am reminded every single day of the worth of that love.

I do not want my love to be cheap."

2003-12-17T13:02:00.000-05:00

- W A N T E D - female

Seeking emotionally vacant woman who has the ability to manipulate her emotions much like a light-switch. On.., then off..., then on, off. (i.e. I love you..., don't ever talk to me again)

Position requires high-energy, smoke blowing provider of quality BS on a daily basis. Prior experience being self-absorbed is helpful. Looking for real condescending bitch who only cares about #1, herself.

If this sounds like you or someone you know, or even if you feel like you could potentially turn into this person please email your resume and contact information to Matt Higgins at:

aquayonex@yahoo.com

The fine print:

Matt Higgins is an equal opportunity boyfriend. He "associates" with women regardless of sexual history, warm heart, physical appearance or brainpower.

2003-12-14T21:54:00.000-05:00

damnit.

the new car is making screeching noises...

the new pc is a piece of junk..., and doesnt seem to want to work.

the new job requires more effort and time...

i just lost my eye-glasses...

AND, can anyone please tell me why in the world women seem to be more into you when you tell them to go away? But the ones your honest and open with..., and even emotional with don't want you? Seriously..., even when you try to do them a favor and say "look honey..., trust me... run now, and fast" they don't? Maybe they think you're kidding? Or trying to be cute? It's an interesting thing., the mind of a woman.

*update* I'm wearing a sign on my head that says "emotionally vacant - please go away."

*sigh*

~G'Night~

2003-12-13T15:08:00.000-05:00

The dishes are finally done. :-\

2003-12-10T14:54:00.000-05:00

this post has been deleted because it was just plain pathetic...

2003-12-06T10:38:00.000-05:00

The last month or so of my life.

1. (6 weeks ago) Beat up in a fight for the first time in my life. Okay, not beatup per se..., but punched in the head causing a black eye and knocked on the ground. I guess I always thought it was impossible. (I was hit from behind.. Not sure why I feel the need to add that...heh.., I didn't see him coming)

2. (4 and a 1/2 weeks ago) Hit..., literally run-over while crossing the street by a taxi cab. In the crosswalk no less. My body still aches.

3. (1 and a 1/2 weeks ago) My mother who has been sober for 13 +/- years decides to start drinking again. Yes, although I don't live there it's a burden on my soul.

4. (1 week ago) The woman I love informs me that I am too difficult. That our bond isn't right and meant to be and she needs to end things.

5. (2 days ago) My employer decides it's in their best interest to cut their losses and terminate me. Siting all the typical reasons one would use to justify a decision like this a couple weeks before christmas.

6. (Present) The final and probably most disturbing on the list. The morning after my two best friends in the world take me to the bar and pump me full of beer and encouragement I stand in front of the mirror, not recognizing the face looking back at me.

2003-12-03T16:11:00.000-05:00

Todays Horoscope for Pisces... According to astrology.yahoo.com

This is the right moment, dear Pisces, to extricate yourself from relationships that you feel have seen their day. This won't be easy to do, but you must. In both your professional and private life, you are too hesitant to get out of situations or obligations that are distasteful to you. You are afraid of hurting people or of making them mad. But, in the end, you are hurting yourself. Give more importance to your own needs, and follow your own path.

2003-12-01T00:27:00.000-05:00

to be continued...

2003-11-28T10:33:00.000-05:00

With the day after T-Day and my gut feeling full and my soul feeling empty here I sit. Wondering, waiting, thinking and alas..., feeling. Sometimes my best thinking is done under stress. So much stress you feel like someone has just sucked the oxygen out of the room. Every single room you walk in feels empty. *sigh* Am I making any sense? I am guessing not, since I am confused I think it's probably a safe bet that you..., who are reading this are confused too. Hmmmm...

2003-11-18T13:51:00.000-05:00

Interesting..

____________________________

Fighting for Your Relationship
by Gwen Randall-Young

Someone asked me recently if I thought fighting was a good or a bad thing in a relationship. She said she thought fighting could be healthy from time to time, providing it was done fairly, but her partner would always yield to her wishes rather than disagree. Avoiding conflict by compromising and giving in all the time eventually creates resentment in the one doing so, and allows the other to control too much of the relationship. Relationships can provide an ideal opportunity for individuals to grow, and to heal old patterns or dysfunctional parts of themselves. Being in a relationship will trigger all kinds of things: things your partner does or says that you may not like, or expectations you wish he or she would fulfill.

If we simply focus on those things, it is easy to attempt to change our partner so that he or she will be perfect for us. If instead, we focus on the process, we will likely have enough work just dealing with our own stuff. We begin to notice where we are being critical or judgmental. We start to see the ways in which we might be wanting our partner to fill voids in ourselves or our lives for which we should be taking personal responsibility. We begin to recognize that it is our egos that go into polarity; our egos that focus on blaming the other while placing ourselves firmly in the right.

It is like the two adults in the relationship just want to love one another and enjoy life, but their "inner children" keep stirring things up. If a couple can align with their inner wisdom and each other, they can deal with whatever the inner children bring up. That is the stuff each individual needs to heal. Fighting can be healthy, if the couple sees what is going on, and then steps back, working together to gain understanding and healing. Each "inner child" should be encouraged to express what it is feeling, without being judged, and without blaming the partner. If one holds back, the process is not real.

Unhealthy fighting is when the adults just let their inner children go at it without any awareness, without any boundaries, and without any learning. If, after a fight, you feel resentful, wounded, angry and tired, then the fighting is unhealthy, and you will likely have the same fight again. If you feel heard, understood, compassionate and loving towards your mate, then you have had a healthy fight. You may indeed fight again, but it will be because something new is coming up for healing. That is a good thing, particularly if your goal is to help one another and to deepen the relationship. These are the kinds of fights where you both come out winners, and you realize how much more important it is to be happy, than to be right.

2003-11-16T23:34:00.000-05:00

the new me...

2003-11-06T15:40:00.000-05:00

Yes.., yes... It's true. I was indeed hit by a runaway taxi cab this week.

Sometimes I know we all wonder "are they slowing down" midway through the crosswalk. Well..., not always. Perhaps it was someone from the "Casinos Yes" group and they knew how I was planning on voting? Hmmm... Regardless, here I sit waiting for the pain to heal. Day #2 without going to work. But hey..., getting run_over by a car is a pretty reasonable excuse. ?

2003-10-29T17:28:00.000-05:00

My face wash and other stuff wins! Rated #1 by FHM Magazine!

By the way..., did anyone read the Metrosexual article in the last issue of Details? Heh...

2003-10-28T22:43:00.000-05:00

So earthlink cable gets the big fat "decent" rating.

If I wasn't so tired I would write about getting jumped this weekend by 3 guys which has resulted in the lovely black eye I'm sporting around...

Alas..., who has the time.

G'night

2003-10-03T08:42:00.000-05:00

Life is interesting. Sometimes perception isn't reality.

Close your eyes, breath, listen...

Let me know your thoughts.

2003-10-01T15:59:00.000-05:00

So if it wasn't bad enough already with the fact that I can barely afford to shave, Schick announces recently that it is bringing a 4-blade razor to market. What the #@*&)!!! When does the madness end? 5, 6..., a glove full of blades you simply wipe across your face? What happen to the days of 5 o'clock shadow being sexy? Where are the women who like the stubble? Hmmm.. I decided to get to the bottom of this and jumped in my less than stellar company car and traveled down to the local drug store to purchase this fine engineering masterpiece. $8.99 gets me the razor and two blades. (Same pricepoint as our friends over at Gillette embarked on with the Mach III-Turbo little more than a year ago) This morning I was sporting the 24 hour stubble, and to my amazement the blades worked. I would even say they worked well. BUT, although one might argue I have a closer shave, Schick, yet again fails to address one oh-so-important issue. Comfort. Anyone who's ever used a schick razor knows what I am talking about when I mention those damn wires that lay across the blades. Whats up with those anyway?!?! I'm convinced I can feel the longer hairs just getting caught and torn out..., which doesn't feel nice.

Meanwhile, our greedy pals over at Gillette are getting a bit cranky with the suggestion that someone else can actually sell multi-blade razors.

I didn't hear Bic crying to the Circut Courts when Gillette stepped on their ever so popular 2-blade combo. ???? But I guess everyone in the P&G house gets along since the money all goes to the same bank account.

~smooth face regardless~

2003-10-01T09:37:00.000-05:00

What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:	Mysterious unsolved murder. The killer was never found and neither was your body. Your casket is empty and you family mourns till this day in hopes that you are still alive or died a swift death.
Death Date:	October 13, 2005
Number attending your funeral?	42
How much will you leave to friends and family?	$4,677,086

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

2003-09-24T18:46:00.000-05:00

Interesting thought...

Perception is reality. But the joy of perception is that it's controlled. Good..., bad?

I have a perception. I wonder if it's reality.

My head hurts....

2003-09-23T20:32:00.000-05:00

My new phone... mmmmmmmMMM.. :-P

2003-09-19T01:22:00.000-05:00

G + P does not = fun for mrb

one has to in fact..., eliminate the 'g' from the equation. ;)

2003-09-09T22:40:00.000-05:00

12 Hour days lead to 100,000 paychecks. Or so I'm being led to believe. Hmmm...

Any thoughts?

2003-09-01T03:27:00.000-05:00

A man marries a woman because he thinks she'll never change..., a woman marries a man thinking she can change him.

Needless to say.., both are unhappy.

2003-08-30T15:06:00.000-05:00

So, I'm headed off to the mall in a bit to get my haircut. The dreaded last minute mall haircut... Hmmm... I'll keep you posted. ~M

2003-08-22T14:18:00.000-05:00

COMES THE DAWN:

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn't mean leaving and company doesn't mean security, And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts, And presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head held high and your eyes open, With the strength of a man, not the grief of a child. You learn to build your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much, so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure, That you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn....and you learn.....with every good-bye you learn.

2003-08-20T16:13:00.000-05:00

In the last 24 hours I have drank nearly a gallon of pineapple juice.

Heh.

Nuff' said.

2003-08-19T13:55:00.000-05:00

Matt: its not reality... its just your perception of everything that has happened...is happening..., and will happen
Cat: reality= I did A, he did B. It worked. Then he did C, which was not the desired effect. Thus= Cat is confused.
Matt: no
Matt: reality=you did A
Matt: he did B
Matt: it didnt work
Matt: you still do A
Matt: he still does B
Matt: it still doesnt work
Matt: cause you need someone who does Q
Cat: now THAT makes sense.

2003-08-14T22:17:00.000-05:00

It was the week from hell. With client-calls to the president and new installations gone bad I can't help but take some of it personally.

After all, it *is* personal. My job is based very much on social interaction, a certain persona and a healthy dose of schmoozing. When any of these key elements fail, the system fails. Hence upset customers.

By the way, what the hell am I talking about?

Off like the skank-ho's prom dress.

-Night

2003-08-14T22:16:00.000-05:00

Interested in becoming a contest supporter?

Hmmm...

2003-08-14T04:06:00.000-05:00

Blah... It's 5am and I haven't gone to bed yet. I have an 8am meeting at the office..., THEN I have a 10am meeting in southern NH.

2003-08-13T02:17:00.000-05:00

I've been giving a lot of thought lately to the idea of becoming a chronic-dater. The simple philosophy that so many seem to abide by; that "I'm too young to settle down therefore I need to play the field" school of thought. I have never really tried to accomplish this sort of thing. Always being the guy that leaves one serious endeavor just to saddle into the next.

How exactly does one date? What exactly is dating? Is the idea of casual dating offensive to some? In short, it's a language I've just never spoken. Perhaps it would be a good change of pace for me to learn?

Hmmm... It's 3am..., I've met some great girls but am just not convinced it's my time. Tomorrow I am doing laundry..., and yes the favorite shirt will enjoy a nice mechanical scrubbing in the ol' tide w/ bleach mountain scent.

2003-08-12T15:10:00.000-05:00

So I've been giving a lot of thought recently to the chilli challenge.

Mike has challenged me to only eat Wendy's 99-cent Chilli for a month. In return of course, I receive fiscal compensation.

Now what exactly would only eating fast_food_chilli for a month do to ones innards? One month of ONLY chilli.....hmmmm.... Sure quality of life was my intitial concern too. BUT, that is some damn good chili for a buck.

Any thoughts?

2003-08-11T18:10:00.000-05:00

So here is a story that may bring you some humor. Last weekend while enjoying a nice cold guinness at Bull Feeny's here in Portland, I noticed a couple crumpled little cans of PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon, for those of you who haven't enjoyed its cheap trendy charm) emptied in the corner. In immediate excitement, Mike and I ordered a couple.

Matt: [states proudly] two cans of PRB please.
Bartender: Huh?
Matt: P_B_R
Bartender: Huh?
Matt: Ya know..., pounders..., beer in a can....?
Bartender: [Looks puzzled]
Matt: [Points at crumbled empties in the corner] Pabst Blue Ribbon...? 2...? Please...?
Bartender: Ohhhhh.... Sorry, I'm new here and don't yet know all the local breweries.

2003-08-11T13:52:00.000-05:00

I hereby dedicate this site to all those in search oh new beginnings. Eeeeck.. :-X Ok...ok..., Let there be light.... Eh-hem... Ummmm... Let's try again. This will be nothing more than a wonderful continuation of before but with a twist. The twist of course being, this site will be written for me and only me. No bizarre half-witted attempts to make contact with any ex-girlfriends OR any pathetic cries for life. *sigh* Say again..., let there be blog.